Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi: August 2014

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Teacher – What is the difference between a bird and fly? Student – Well……a bird can fly……..but a fly can’t bird.

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Bachon ki shararton se tang aa kar unki mummy ne sab ke samne ailan kia. Aaj se main aik inami silsila shuro kar rahi hon. Ghar mein pore hafte jo sabse zyada kehna maane ga aur sab se kam bole ga usse
hafta pora hone per 200 rs inaam don gi.
Bachon ne foran ahtejaj kia. Hame yeh muqabla manzor nahi. is muqable mein to har halat mein papa hi jeetenge. :s

2 Dost apne aap ko bohat chalaak samajhte the. aik martaba unhe karachi se lahore jana tha, train main bohat rush tha aur raat ka waqt tha, inho ne aik dabbay main dakhil ho kar idhar udher dekha aur phir shor machana shuro kar dia ke dabbay main saamp ghus aya hai. yeh sun kar sab musafir neechay utar gaye aur yeh dono bistar laga kar araam se so gaye.
Subah unki
aankh khuli to aik dost ne dabbay ke pass kharre kulli se pocha. "kya lahore aa gaya?"
Kulli bola."array bhai sahab kal raat is dabbay main saamp nikal aya tha, is liye is dabbay ko train se alehda kar dia gaya tha." :P

Bhaarti(indian) fauj ke tara singh aur shekhar singh mein aksar behas hoti rehti thi. tara singh ka kehna tha ke parachute ke zariye utarne mein woh mahir hai jab ke shekhar singh ka kbhi yehi dawa tha.
1 roz faisla karne ke liye dono aik jahaz mein tees hazar feet ki bulandi per pohanche. pehle tara singh ne
jahaz se chhalaang(jump) lagayi. usne apne parachute ki door khenchi, parachute khul gaya aur tara singh araam se neeche aane laga.
shekhar singh ne chhalaang(jump) lagayi aur door khenchi magar parachute na khula. usne emergency wali door khenchi, tab bhi parachute na khula. woh tezi se zameen ki taraf jate howe tara singh ke kareeb se guzra to tara singh gusse se chilaya. Acha to tum cheating kar rahe ho, ab tum mujhse race laga rahe ho lekin main tumhe kamiyab nai hone don ga. yeh keh kar usne apne kandhon(shoulders) se parachute ki bandish nikaal di.

Ustaad(teacher) ne ladke se pocha. Kal tum school kyun nahi aaye?
Kal mere daant(teeth) mein shadeed dard tha. Ladke ne jawab dia.
Aaj to dard nahi hai? Ustaad(teacher) ne pocha
Maloom nahi sir! ladke ne laparwayi se jawab dia.

Kya matlab... tumhe apne daant ke dard ka ilm nahi hai, iska matlab hai ke tum jhoot bol rahe ho. Ustaad(teacher) ne dant tay howe kaha.
Ladka bola, nahi sir darasal mera daant kal hi dandansaz(dentist) ne nikaal kar apne pass rakh lia tha.

Ranjish
2 afraad jin ke darmiyan kuch ranjish thi aik aisi gali mein aamnay samnay aagaye .
jahan dono ikathay nahi guzar satke thay .
kam az kam aik ko zaroor side par hona parna tha .
.. .
ab kuch der to woh kharray rahay .
aakhir aik sahib bolay :" mein gadhon ko rasta nahi diya karta. "
yeh sun kar dosray sahib muskuratay hue aik taraf ho gaye aur kaha :
" mein day diya karta hon. "

Mitti ka Tail
Ustaad: Mitti ka tail kahan se nikalta hai?
Hanif: Janab canister se.

Television
aik boorha : mera khayaal hai kay television akhbar ki jagah le le ga .
dosra : ahmaq kahin ke, bhala television se bhi kabhi makhiyan uraa sakta ha

Awaaz
pehla dost : prson meri biwi kunvey mein giri bohat chout lagi baichari ko, bohat cheekh rahi thi .
dosra dost : ab kaisi hai ?
pehla : ab theek hai kal se kunvey mein se aawaz nahi aa rahi .

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Friday, 29 August 2014

Funny Jokes Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Funny Jokes Kids Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Going to school might be boring and tedious for some, but the mood can be lightened easily with the help of school jokes. When things get too serious, and if difficult exams bring your children down or classes seem boring, you can still fill fun and smile on your kids faces just by recalling some good school jokes.

If you are a teacher, you can help a student learn better by utilizing school jokes. Find and use of these funny quips to make the school hours more vibrant!

Teacher: John, tell me your date of birth?
John: July 13th
Teacher: on which year?
John: it is in every year, Ma’am!

Teacher to students: can anyone tell a word which has more than 1000 letters in it?
Sam suddenly stands up and said “postbox”!

Why the music teacher did not able to open his room?
Because the keys were on his piano!

What will be a Math teacher’s favorite dish?
Pi!

What did a math book complained to another math book?
“Oh, I have tired of lot of problems”!

Teacher to John: “John, you have 6 apples in your plate and Sam took two among them, what would you get?”
John: “A fight”!

It’s the first day of school.
The school bus stops and a little blonde girl gets on. The bus driver says, “Oh, what a darling little girl! Where did you get those blonde curls?”
The little girl replies, “From my mom!”
At the next stop a little redhead gets on. The bus driver says, “Oh, you lovely thing! Where ever did you get those gorgeous strawberry curls?”

“I look just like my dad!” says the second girl.
At the next stop, a girl with green hair gets on. The bus driver is a little shocked, but she pulls herself together and says “My, what unusual green hair! Where did you get it from?”
All in one motion, the girl puts the heel of her hand at her chin, and pushes upward as she produces an enormous, juicy “Sneeee-r-r-r-rk!” sound from her nose. Continuing with her whole hand flat on her forehead, she pushes upward and backwards, running her fingers through her hair.
Finally, she drops her hand and says, innocently, “No idea!”

What is a ghost’s favorite dish?
Ice-Scream!

Where did ghosts love to swim?
The Dead sea!

What did Dracula said about her new girlfriend?
Oh, she is my love at first bite!

How can you identify a ghost’s mom and dad?
They are transparents!

What kind of music ghosts love to hear?
Spiritual music!

Where did Mummy ghost take her baby ghost?
To the Day‘scare’!

Why don’t we see a bat alone?
Because bats always like to hang out with their frie

Why did the skeleton feared to cross the road?
Because he has no guts!

Do you know how to reach the new apartment of Mr. Ghost?
Yes, just take the first right and go to the dead end!

Who is the ghost that lives in the Town Hall?
Oh, it is the night‘mayor’!

Salesman to Mrs. Monster: Ma’am this is a good book, it will definitely help your husband to get ahead.
Mrs. Monster: Oh thank you. But I don’t think he needs this. He has already got two heads!

During the Halloween party, the first prize for the best costume is given to a little boy. But he seems very unhappy. His friend asked him why he is so sad. The little boy replied that “oh, I just came here to pick up my sister”!

What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
An itchy witchy !

What's a cold, evil candle called ?
The wicked wick of the north !

What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A witch in a revolving door !

What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A witch dressed as a cucumber !

What happens if you see twin witches ?
You won't be able to see which witch is witch !

Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
There was no future in it !

Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
Because it was an 'appy rash !

What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ?
Broom sick !

Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings !

Funny Jokes Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Very Funny Jokes For Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Very Funny Jokes For Kids Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Teacher: “Emil… why are you coming into my classroom on your hands and knees?”
Emil: “Because yesterday you told me not to talk into your class late.”

A boy telling his friend: “The food was awful at summer camp this year. My first day there, I threw mine in the lake and darned if the fish didn’t throw it back.”

Teacher: “If your father earned $50,000 a month and gave your mother half, what would she have?”
Student: “Heart failure or maybe a stroke!”

Teacher: “In the alphabet, what comes after ‘O’?”
Student: “Yeah.”

Teacher: “Attention class! First off, who can name a deadly poison?”
Charlie: “I can, teacher. Aviation. One drop and you’re dead.”

Teacher: “Just how did this window get broken?”
Student: “I was cleaning my slingshot and it went off.”

New kid: “Where do you live?”
Old kid: “On Tough Street. The farther you go, the tougher you get. I live in the last house!”

Two kids talking:
Kid 1: You shoulda been with me this summer at camp. We had a lot of tough times with skunks.
Kid 2: How do they smell?
Kid 1: They smell like our gym class! But I never changed clothes once this summer at camp and y’know what? Toward the end of the season, the skunks ran away from me.”

Elmer: “Hey, Gorge, did you hear about the tire that had a nervous breakdown?”
George: “Nope. Tell me about it.”
Elmer: “It just couldn’t take any more pressure!”

“My mother really talked to the airplane pilot when we got on the plane.”
“Really? What’d she talk about.”
“Oh, she just told him not to go faster than sound ’cause she and I wanted to talk a lot.”

Two kids were walking home from school. “What should we do tonight?” – one asked.
“Let’s flip a coin,” replied the other. “If it comes up head, we will go to the movies. If it comes up tail, we’ll play pool. If it stands on edge, we’ll study.”

Jonas: “Did you hear about the stupid farmer who ran a steamroller over his field of potatoes?”
Adam: “Nope. Not a word.”
Jonas: “Well, the dope thought he’d get a crop of smashed potatoes.”

Mary: “Get away from me, Jamie. You remind me of the ocean.”
Jamie: “Why is that? Because I’m so handsome?”
Mary: “No! Because you make me sick!”

A small boy ridiculed the talk about a painless dentist in his neighborhood.
“He is not painless at all,” said the lad. “He put his finger in my mouth and I bit it and he yelled just like anybody would.”

After the third day of school, the six-year-old came running home from school crying and sobbing. She ran into the house and up to her mother, sobbing: “M-mom, how long does it take a little girl to finally graduate?”

The class was on a tour of the local art museum and the teacher stopped before a reproduction of a DaVinci painting.

“Class, this man was a genius. With just one, single stroke he could change a smiling face into a pained, sorrowful one.”

A little boy raised his hand. “Question, Elmer?” the teacher asked.

“I just want to tell you that my Mom can do the same thing.”

The school employs a doctor to teach the children about body parts.

One day, the doctor came to school, assembled the class, pointed to his nose and asked: “Is this my ear?”

Little Johnny walked to the teacher and whispered: “I think we better get a new doctor.”

The teacher began: “Can anyone in class tell us the meaning of axis?”

“I can, Sir. Here goes: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line that passes from one pole to the other and on which the earth revolves.”

“Very good,” the teacher said, “but could you hang clothes on that line?”

“Yep! You sure could,” the student replied.

“Is that so?” the teacher said. “And what kind of cloths would you hang on that imaginary line?

“Imaginary clothes, Teacher.”

eacher to student: “Make a sentence using the word “I”
Student: “I is..”
Teacher: “No that is not correct, you should say I am”
Student: “Ok. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabet”!

Which is the place pencils like to go for a vacation?
Pencil – vania!

Why did the computer consult with the doctor?
Because it was suffering from a virus!

What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
Your name!

Which is the flower on face?
Tu – lips!

Which is the way chosen by crazy people?
The psycho path!

Can you name a bear with no socks?
A bare-foot!

Can a leopard hide anywhere?
No, he is always spotted!

How can you make a golden soup?
Just add 24 carrots to the soup!

What kind of a star can be risky?
A shooting star!

How do the prisoners communicate with each other?
Through cell phones!

In which bank Dracula like to save money?
In a blood bank!

What type of waves are there in small beaches?
Microwaves!

Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!

One day a software engineer drowned at the sea. There are many people on the beach and they heard him crying out. But no one understood what he was trying to say. Can you guess what he was trying to say? “F1, F1”!

Customer called to Tech support: “my computer is not connecting to Internet”
Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are you using?”
Customer: “Internet explorer”!
Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu”
Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”!

Very Funny Jokes For Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Really Funny Jokes For Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

Really Funny Jokes For Kids Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Lady sits down on a train. Man sitting next to her turns to her and says, “Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. That baby looks in a mirror, it’s going to shatter. You oughta put a bag on that baby’s head. That baby is just ugly.”
The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. “Conductor, this man has insulted me.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the conductor replies. “What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We’ll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a banana for your monkey.”
A classic dating at least to the 1950s, the extended Flip Wilson version above is the earliest on the internet. You can of course update it to an airplane, to Facebook, or to some other setting. It’s very important that you not call it the “ugly baby” joke and you not mention the baby/monkey in the first sentence or in the woman’s complaint to the conductor.

*Knock Knock
“Who’s There?”
”Banana”
“Banana Who?
*Knock Knock
“Who’s There?”
”Banana”
“Banana Who?
*Knock Knock
“Who’s There?”
”Banana”
“Banana Who?
*Knock Knock
“Who’s There?”
”Orange”
“Orange Who?”
”Orange you glad I didn’t say banana”

Old man comes into a restaurant, sits at his usual table, and orders the usual — matzoh ball soup.
The waiter sets it down in front of him, and stands back to watch him enjoy it. But the man just sits there.
“Is there something wrong?” the waiter asks.
“I can’t eat this soup,” the man replies.
“Is it too hot?” the waiter asks. “No.” “Too cold?” “No.” “Too salty?” “No.”
The waiter calls for the maitre d’, and for the chef, and each goes through the same routine: “Too hot?” “Too cold?” “No, no no.”
Finally the chief, at his wits end, says, “Sir, I will taste the soup myself. Where is the spoon?”
Says the old man: “A-ha!”

There are two muffins in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other muffin and says, “Boy, it’s hot in here.”
The other muffin says, “OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN.”

Guy in a library walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”

Chicken marches into the library, walks up to the library desk, and says: “Book, book, BOOK!”
The librarian hands over a a couple of slim children’s paperbacks, and watches the chicken as it leaves the library, walks across the street, through a field, and disappears down the hill.
Next day, the chicken is back. Walks right up to the librarian, drops the books on her desk, and says, “Book, Book, BOOK, BOOK!” The librarian hands over a few books and again watches the chicken drag them away.
The next day, the chicken comes for a third time. Drops the books on the desk, and says, “Book, Book, Book, BOOK!!”
This time, once the chicken is out the door, the librarian follows — across the street, through a field, and down the hill to a small pond.
On a rock on the edge of the pond is the biggest frog the librarian has ever seen. The chicken walks up to the frog, drops the book on the pond’s edge, and says, “Book, Book, Book!”
The frog hops over, uses the front leg to push through the pile, and says: “Read it, read it, read it…”

Really Funny Jokes For Kids Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos