source:- Google.com.pk
Love them or hate them, cheesy jokes are part of the festive season. Elves love silly pranks and as you might have already guessed, they adore Christmas jokes. Elfin, our Christmas elf has helped me put together a list of his favourite elf jokes. There are 24 of them – one for each day of the advent.
If your family has a Christmas elf the jokes will give you plenty of “elf ideas“. You can also pop them in the advent calendar or in your kid’s lunch boxes.
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Mary
Mary Who?
Mary Christmas!
What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A list of everything you want!
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
Because they always drop their needles.
Why is it so cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decembrrrrr!
What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells!
————
What kind of birds are good at writing?
Pen-guins
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Krispies or Frosted Flakes!!
What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when she sees clouds?
Looks like rain, dear
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water!
What does one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you call frosty when he mows the lawn?
Frosty the Mow-man!
Where did Mistletoe go to become famous?
“Holly” Wood!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Rabbit
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, it’s a present!
What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A pineapple
What is green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad!
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!
Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks!
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-”deer”!
What’s Santa’s favourite drink?
Coca ho-ho-hola!
What does the Christmas tree say to the light bulb when it’s sad?
Lighten up!
What do elves learn at school?
The Elf-abet!
Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!
Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
Amanda: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem
knock knock
What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells!
Why is the turkey such a fashionable bird?
Because he's always well dressed when he comes to dinner!
Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crummy!
Where does mistletoe go to be an actor?
"Holly"-wood!
Why don't penguins fly?
Because they're too short to be pilots!
Why did the mosquito buzz around the bar?
Because he was a "bar humbug"!
What kind of money do they use at the North Pole?
Cold cash!
I keep Christmas in my heart every month of the year.
That's because it's on my charge card statement that long!
Where do you keep a Christmas tree?
Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four!
How much difference is there between the North Pole and the South Pole?
All the difference in the world!
Where would you find chili beans?
At the North Pole!
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger!
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
A porcupine!
What do Eskimos use to hold their homes together?
Ig-"glue"!
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
A Christmas definition:
The time of year when you exchange "hello's" with strangers and "good buy's" with friends!
What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?
A polar bare!
What is in December that isn't in any other month?
The letter "D"!
I know it's the thought that counts, not the size of the pressie...
But couldn't people think bigger?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Holly.
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
What did one angel say to the other angel?
Halo there!
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