Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi: Funny And Jokes Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos

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Source:- google.com.pk

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? BOY: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Sarah, go to the map and find North America . SARAH: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Sarah

TO: GOD, FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a ”face towel.”
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello."

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house—not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Doggy Dictionary
LEASH: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: A liquid that, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get drool on the human.

SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.

BATH: If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "sit!" especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular bump doesn't get the attention you require...especially effective when combined with the sniff. See above.

CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

What kind of dog can use the phone?
a Dial-Matian

What kind of dog would you find in a cave?
a Bat Terrier

Which dog is very obedient?
a Sit Bull Terrier

What do you get when you cross a small dog and a large boat?
a Ship Tzu

What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?
"That hit the spots!"

Why are Dalmatians no good at "Hide and Seek"?
They're always spotted!

What dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha

Where do the dogs go for the Macy's Thanksgiving parade?
New Yorkie

What's black and white and red all over?
an embarrassed Dalmatian
A guy is driving around Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damn liar. He never did any of that stuff."

A burglar is stalking stealthily around the living room of the house he's just broken into. He jumps with fright when he suddenly hears a voice behind him saying "Croaoak, beware, Jesus watches you"

He turns around, swings the beam of his flashlight in to direction the voice comes from and sees what indeed the voice had made him think once he was over his first fright: a parrot. The bird repeats "Croaoak, beware, Jesus watches you"

The burglar walks up to the cage and asks "And what may your name be? The parrot answers "Coco." The burglar sniggers and says "I've always found that a very stupid name for a parrot." The parrot answers "Maybe, but not half as silly as Jesus for a Pitbull terrier"

Well-phrased signs:

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit Stay"

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on it!
Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!
Q: What airline do rabbits use? A: British Hare-ways!
Q: What's the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? A: One is a fit bunny, and the other's a bit funny!
Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? A: Deviled eggs!
Q: What did the rabbit give his girlfriend? A: A 14 carrot ring!
Q: What did the rabbits do after their wedding? A: They went on their bunnymoon!
Q: What do rabbits put in their computers? A: Hoppy disks!
Q: What do you call 99 rabbits stepping backwards? A: A receding hare line!
Q: What do you call a happy rabbit? A: An Hop-timist.
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A: A chili dog on a bun!
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing at you.
Q: What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A: A hare-cut.
Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit? A: He was a millionhare!
Q: Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie actor? A: Rabbit De Niro!
Q: Does the Easter Bunny like baseball? A:Oh, yes. He's a rabbit fan!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A: A hare dryer!
Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit? A: Bugs Bunny!
Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair? A: A hairless hare!

Funny And Jokes Funny Jokes for Kids About School to Tell Friends to Tell Their Parents About Teachers in Hindi Photos